It's been a full six months since Steph and I have been over. There are times when I feel a little (I guess) nostalgic for those times when I was happy with her. Eventually, that nostalgia hit a crescendo and on some huge trip down Memory Lane I started to recall the little things we liked. Then those little things turned into bigger parts of my life. My appreciation for John Mayer first came from her - I learned "No Such Thing" from the old acoustic version of the song in the hope that I'd eventually sing it for her. That never happened, but I came to appreciate the song for myself, and not just as an extension of the relationship. Now I'm a huge fan of the guy, he influences my singing, he's even made me wish I had become a songwriter. I know all the songs that used to just be in the background when I'd be at her house.
That's cute and all, but it gets a little deeper. I used to hate hate hate Coldplay for "Yellow," easily one of the ten most annoying songs ever written. Then after the breakup, the band came up in any of the short, awkward conversations that we had. She loved the guys, song quotes in her profile, ranting on and on about their live show - the girl was obviously in a Coldplay phase. I don't even remember how it happened anymore, but I happened across "The Scientist." Maybe I heard it on the radio and recognized the singer's voice, that or Sarah helped me find it (are we seeing a pattern here with her involvement?). At the end of the song, I was totally blown away. Suddenly the shitty pop band had the capacity for emotion and songwriting without gimmicks. As Soph once made me aware, that's the very epitome of a sophomore record. That song more than makes up for "Yellow," so I eventually had to drop the grudge.
I guess what makes it weird for me is that everything's happened so much later. She's had an influence on my musical taste, but it didn't work itself out until long after that lonely Christmas. Today, still after all the bad blood and awkward conversations, I have to admit I'm thankful for her - she did me some good.