Wow. College has always been that ever-elusive idea in the back of my head, ever since my childhood days. I would see kids toss their caps and it never quite clicked inside my elementary school brain that those kids would run off to a university and become changed people. "And I still don't feel like I'm really here. I feel like I'm just in some part of Dallas that I've never seen before," I theorized to the Austinite Kinsey, my newest companion in the quest to find out what really happens after I tossed my cap back in May. The rest of the conversation was fuzzy, but I can very vividly recall the scene. I haven't figured out why, but I keep getting the feeling that that one scene is going to change my life. Maybe I've seen one happily-ending movie too many. But this week I'm living is the kind of stuff that makes for a happy ending. And plenty of room for a sequel.
The week of amazement began on Monday. Headed to Austin for UT orientation, knowing only that I should expect the unexpected. That strategy worked well. Not only was traffic the easiest I've ever had it, but I saw a couple people from my old Honors Colloquium clique and found out that my good amiga Jane also made her way to P2. Go Jane.
Having successfully parked, I made my way inside Jester Center to register. I found the line and jumped in as quickly as I could, hastily introducing myself to the girls in the back of the line. One said, "You can't stand in line with us. This is the girls' line." What the hell? She's right, this is all girls.
"Do you know where the guys' line is?"
"Um... way up there." She pointed toward the front of the girls' line. I headed up to the front of that line, to where the registration desks were 5 feet away instead of 200, and found a guys' line that lasted about 3 people. Registration easy. Like the line for the bathroom, we guys don't waste time. Now to get a roommate. I stood in line at the housing desk, where the next fella to show up would be my roommate. The one who did show up was a guy named Robert who seemed pretty nice. Both of us had arrived early, so when we headed to our third-floor room we talked for a while and by the time I left I realized I was incredibly lucky to have this guy for a roomie. Robert was probably one of the only smart guys who wasn't a dweeb. He was Plan I / Linguistics and yet he had a very sharp knowledge of pretty much anything. And he still had a life. He nicely explained a lot of the more subtle facets of Austin life to me, things that would normally be learned the hard way. Probably saved me from a lot of future embarrassment. The day began with a wing meeting. My wing was basically half the guys on my floor who were nearest me. We had a wing leader, a UT student who was working orientation. Those guys were known as Orientation Advisors, or OAs. Andy, my wing leader, was also a perfect fit for my personality. He was a junior in Comp Sci but he definitely had a life outside his work. He too was incredibly white. At the wing meetings we were either briefed on some of the processes we'd be going through, or we were just told what was going to go on that day. Here, we got a schedule layout. He explained the coming assemblies as if they were just assemblies - but oh no, they were full-out brainwashing. The first meeting was a 'welcome' type of get-together (all 1000 students at my orientation) where important university figures emphasized the importance of actually showing up to class and breaking up with that one high school sweetheart. (Check...and..... check.) The brainwashing came in when they started teaching us cheers. Yes, I had been in Austin for three hours and I was already learning all the cheers that would be necessary at UT football games. Dinner was barbecue, which left everyone who attended thoroughly unimpressed. Nearby, there was an organization fair, which left me thoroughly unimpressed. I wound up sitting in a comfortable chair and reading the newest issue of The Undecided (the P2 newspaper) cover-to-cover. Absolutely great stuff. A digression. I had to be in the P2 office to pick up The Undecided. Only thing is, looking at my schedules, I have absolutely no idea when I would have been in the office on the first day. Tres creepy. What's more, for the sake of storytelling it's necessary that I mention now that when I did enter the office on day 1. The P2 folks made the freshman class the table setting for the big table in the main office. That is, underneath the glass, they slid the names, pictures, hometowns and majors of the entire freshman class. So I�m looking around, and I�m surprised at the number of attractive people in this class. I was expecting a large number of foreigners (read: non-caucasians) and nerdy people, and there were, but the remainder looked like normal people. That was good news, I thought. Then one person�s picture caught my eye. A cute white girl with brown hair who vaguely resembled Jessica Alba (or someone else on the WB, but I still think it�s Jessica). A Kinsey Schmisk from the Austin area, a double-major in Plan 2 and Business Honors. So she�s smart and kinda cute. I let out an �ooh� and Jane, who stood next to me whilst looking at the table photos, caught on and somehow figured out I noticed Kinsey�s picture. �What, do you know her?�
�I�d like to.� End digression. After the BBQ, there was to be a small social party type of thing. I attended and quickly learned that the OAs (and many college students) are positively obsessed with DDR. Yes, this is when I knew I found the right university. I only played one song on the giant projection screen, but there's no better way to play the game. Oh, and Elbow Tag is the greatest coed game of all time. More on that later. Afterwards, we all attended a required program on diversity. But it wasn't just racial diversity. They intelligently included sexual orientation as well as a few other kinks. The racial stuff was obvious - derogatory names bad, understanding cultural heritage and other sexual lifestyles good, etc. What threw me in for a loop was that several of the OAs would stand amidst the audience and give monologues about their ethnicities. Then one stood up and explained that he was gay. But what really broke my heart was when Julie, who would eventually be one of my favorite OAs, stood up and said she was HIV positive. "I know what you might be thinking. 'Who did she sleep with?' Well it didn't work out like that," she explained to a stunned audience, nearly crying. "It took only one time. One mistake, and I'm paying for it with my life." I left with what's probably the most noticeable change in my character. I don't make as many racial cracks as I used to. UT's brainwashing was pretty successful in that regard - stuff like that is a really sensitive topic in Austin and it's impossible to say anything racial, funny or otherwise, that won't offend someone. As the evening began to turn to night, I happily discovered that the OAs were bringing the DDR setup into the TV lounge part of the lobby. That's how I got half of my campus semi-fame. I played for roughly 30 minutes on really hard songs and kinda impressed some people who had been seeing two and three foot songs all night. The next day, I remember meeting people and more than once being recalled as 'the DDR guy.' And all this, everything you've just read, was Day 1. Day 2 coming soon.
"Um... way up there." She pointed toward the front of the girls' line. I headed up to the front of that line, to where the registration desks were 5 feet away instead of 200, and found a guys' line that lasted about 3 people. Registration easy. Like the line for the bathroom, we guys don't waste time. Now to get a roommate. I stood in line at the housing desk, where the next fella to show up would be my roommate. The one who did show up was a guy named Robert who seemed pretty nice. Both of us had arrived early, so when we headed to our third-floor room we talked for a while and by the time I left I realized I was incredibly lucky to have this guy for a roomie. Robert was probably one of the only smart guys who wasn't a dweeb. He was Plan I / Linguistics and yet he had a very sharp knowledge of pretty much anything. And he still had a life. He nicely explained a lot of the more subtle facets of Austin life to me, things that would normally be learned the hard way. Probably saved me from a lot of future embarrassment. The day began with a wing meeting. My wing was basically half the guys on my floor who were nearest me. We had a wing leader, a UT student who was working orientation. Those guys were known as Orientation Advisors, or OAs. Andy, my wing leader, was also a perfect fit for my personality. He was a junior in Comp Sci but he definitely had a life outside his work. He too was incredibly white. At the wing meetings we were either briefed on some of the processes we'd be going through, or we were just told what was going to go on that day. Here, we got a schedule layout. He explained the coming assemblies as if they were just assemblies - but oh no, they were full-out brainwashing. The first meeting was a 'welcome' type of get-together (all 1000 students at my orientation) where important university figures emphasized the importance of actually showing up to class and breaking up with that one high school sweetheart. (Check...and..... check.) The brainwashing came in when they started teaching us cheers. Yes, I had been in Austin for three hours and I was already learning all the cheers that would be necessary at UT football games. Dinner was barbecue, which left everyone who attended thoroughly unimpressed. Nearby, there was an organization fair, which left me thoroughly unimpressed. I wound up sitting in a comfortable chair and reading the newest issue of The Undecided (the P2 newspaper) cover-to-cover. Absolutely great stuff. A digression. I had to be in the P2 office to pick up The Undecided. Only thing is, looking at my schedules, I have absolutely no idea when I would have been in the office on the first day. Tres creepy. What's more, for the sake of storytelling it's necessary that I mention now that when I did enter the office on day 1. The P2 folks made the freshman class the table setting for the big table in the main office. That is, underneath the glass, they slid the names, pictures, hometowns and majors of the entire freshman class. So I�m looking around, and I�m surprised at the number of attractive people in this class. I was expecting a large number of foreigners (read: non-caucasians) and nerdy people, and there were, but the remainder looked like normal people. That was good news, I thought. Then one person�s picture caught my eye. A cute white girl with brown hair who vaguely resembled Jessica Alba (or someone else on the WB, but I still think it�s Jessica). A Kinsey Schmisk from the Austin area, a double-major in Plan 2 and Business Honors. So she�s smart and kinda cute. I let out an �ooh� and Jane, who stood next to me whilst looking at the table photos, caught on and somehow figured out I noticed Kinsey�s picture. �What, do you know her?�
�I�d like to.� End digression. After the BBQ, there was to be a small social party type of thing. I attended and quickly learned that the OAs (and many college students) are positively obsessed with DDR. Yes, this is when I knew I found the right university. I only played one song on the giant projection screen, but there's no better way to play the game. Oh, and Elbow Tag is the greatest coed game of all time. More on that later. Afterwards, we all attended a required program on diversity. But it wasn't just racial diversity. They intelligently included sexual orientation as well as a few other kinks. The racial stuff was obvious - derogatory names bad, understanding cultural heritage and other sexual lifestyles good, etc. What threw me in for a loop was that several of the OAs would stand amidst the audience and give monologues about their ethnicities. Then one stood up and explained that he was gay. But what really broke my heart was when Julie, who would eventually be one of my favorite OAs, stood up and said she was HIV positive. "I know what you might be thinking. 'Who did she sleep with?' Well it didn't work out like that," she explained to a stunned audience, nearly crying. "It took only one time. One mistake, and I'm paying for it with my life." I left with what's probably the most noticeable change in my character. I don't make as many racial cracks as I used to. UT's brainwashing was pretty successful in that regard - stuff like that is a really sensitive topic in Austin and it's impossible to say anything racial, funny or otherwise, that won't offend someone. As the evening began to turn to night, I happily discovered that the OAs were bringing the DDR setup into the TV lounge part of the lobby. That's how I got half of my campus semi-fame. I played for roughly 30 minutes on really hard songs and kinda impressed some people who had been seeing two and three foot songs all night. The next day, I remember meeting people and more than once being recalled as 'the DDR guy.' And all this, everything you've just read, was Day 1. Day 2 coming soon.