Seriously, the Plan II office just held down the Run button, tapped Down twice, and let it go after winning the third round.
Specifically, the Plan II Honcho himself, Dr. Paul Woodruff, who is always an excellent man. Once my advisor took my essay to his office, he decided to let my essay slip in.
One of the worst days I had in a long time just got reversed, and I feel very happy. And if I win the big prize, well, I'll get something nice for some people.
Speaking of nice people and doing nice things, thanks to all the commenters who posted their consolations in the previous post. Your sentiments have been noted and I'll have my people look into something really spiffy for you guys.