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So, this weekend I was productive and went over the finances with mommy. Basically, I won't have any debts from my non-merit-scholarship freshman year if I give up getting a car for graduation.

I'll certainly keep the Camry of Love a while longer, thank you very much.

So instead, I've been given the option to get a *different* graduation present. The same applies to my dad, since I doubt I'll need an extra TV to take to Austin with me. I have two available presents, so I'm thinking the following: Laptop and modded Xbox.

The laptop would be a small, non-powerful, inexpensive one, since I've already got enough horsepower on the main rig. Yes, I'd take two computers down there.

(interruption by Brian Wodarski (pronounced Waterski): The Tard Blog is the only thing this month that's actually offended me.)

Mommy can get me a cheap Dell, so that's what she's interested in. I know for a fact they make great laptops, so I'm not complaining.

As for father, I'm thinking I'll request an Xbox, an OEM hard drive from Fry's, and $50 for a modchip. Once the parts come in, I'll do all the hard work, and I'll never have to buy an Xbox game for as long as I live. Can anyone think of anything else that I'd possibly need in college life that could be covered with a ~$500 graduation present?

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Lizzie McGuire turns 18 before the Olsen Twins do.

That settles it.

update: Fuck. I've been misinformed. She's really 15 and a half. Fuck you, internet.

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I spent six or seven hours straight yesterday playing SSB. And that was on top of a couple hours of Halo. Both of these games (even Halo!) are starting to get really fun. At about 10:00 last night our triumvirate of practice mates (myself, Thomas, Alex) took a break to go grab coffee and I actually felt a slight withdrawal from the game. That's an experience I haven't had in a long, long, long time. We're talking like since eighth grade playing Goldeneye. I think I really am returning to my gaming roots: hours upon hours in the same place playing only console games, pushing myself to achieve high scores and win tournaments.

There's really nothing quite like it. I remember playing my Super Nintendo as a child in my bedroom, uncomfortably sitting with my back against the footboard of my bed on the floor in front of the nearby tiny, tiny TV. Man, those were the days.

And dammit, my mind is just in lazy mode and I can't write a damned thing. I've gotta quit.

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I present, a guest writer! Thomas sent me his debut piece in competitive gaming writing, which is an excellent preview of the much anticipated upcoming SSB tournament to finish the school year. There are lots of heavy contenders this time around, and we all know everyone's been practicing. Without further adieu, I give you the swingin' styles of Mr. Monaco:

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Once more, Gamecubes around the city are firing up and playing the familiar theme song to Super Smash Brothers, as the 3rd Super Smash Brothers Melee Tournament looms just around the corner. All of the contenders, even those playing the same character, bring very different play styles and techniques to the table. This review is meant to educate newcomers and veterans alike on the different techniques, methods, and mannerisms of the best of the tournament. My apologies if certain facts are not correct, and keep in mind these opinions are my own.

*Aroon (Princess Zelda): After playing the last tournament with Samus and buying a Gamecube, Aroon's switch from Samus to Shiek, with her rapid speed and mobility, gives an even better chance to this champion hopeful. The best strategy is to avoid cramped or enclosed spaces where Shiek�s nimble attack and dodge speed can come into play.
Favorite Move: Ninja Kick

*Alex (Dr. Mario): By far one of the best evaders in the game, Alex�s ability to reflect powerful attacks and dodge melee blows poses a significant threat to any challengers. This tactic, combined with a wholly godless love of unpredictability, puts him in a good position for the coveted trophy. And remember folks, he is NOT a real doctor.
Favorite Move: Body Toss
[Ed. note: Don't let him touch your genitals.]

*Blake (Green Link): The tactician amongst the Links, Blake�s self-control and strategy on the battlefield make him a formidable opponent. His penchant for staying out of melee range has led critics to label him a coward, but his many victories mean he must be doing something right. Thinking like him (scary, I know�) is the key to defeating him.
Favorite Move: Bomb Toss

*Thomas (Black Link): The defending champion, Thomas uses a more fluid, natural, and increasingly unpredictable play style than his green counterpart. His intuitive technique lowers his response time, but also makes him susceptible to deadly errors. Like other Links, he dislikes close combat, though he is more willing to come to blows. Items add a dangerous dimension to his play.
Favorite Move: Spin n� Win

*Max (Mewtwo/Young Link): Though there is something to be said for someone who plays a psionic cat, Max�s ability to fight from range creates difficulty for other characters like Marth and Roy that rely on closing with the enemy. In addition, his psionic teleporting makes hitting him a hassle. Max has a tendency, however, to fool with seemingly helpless opponents, which could be the key to his defeat. A definite contender if the ADD is kept in check.
Favorite Move: Teleport

*Gus (Ness): Possibly the best player in the tournament, and heavily favored to win again, Gus won the first SSB Tournament with a yo-yo, a baseball bat, and a dream. Ness is very prone to be underestimated, and Gus uses this to his advantage. His long-range blue sphere attack allows him to attack across the stage AND recover from falls. And in hand-to-hand combat, his wiffle bat packs a mighty punch. His only possible weakness resides in Ness�s lack of mobility, meaning that fast moving stages can pose a major threat to staying alive. On flat stages, however, be prepared for the fight of your life (and quite possibly death).
Favorite Move: Wiffle Bat of Death

*David (Samus): Admittedly better than Aroon as Samus, David�s conventional play style proves more dangerous than it might seem. Unlike many players, who use only a few select moves, David utilizes every tool at his disposal. Like any battle with Samus, his particle charge is particularly dangerous. David likes to get in close and release it when there is no time to deflect or block. Very few weaknesses, and beware the long-range seeker missiles. Has usually finished in the top spots, but never captured 1st.
Favorite Move: Particle Charge

*Frank (Falco): Rounding out the All-Stars of the Moreno family, Frank�s gun quickly adds damage, and his fire charge gives him the ability to attack from nearly any direction. Any opening match with Frank is greatly dreaded, and he frequently weeds out the lesser competition with his speed and high-powered attacks.
Favorite Move: Fire Spin

*Colin (Princess Peach): Unique, and Canadian too! His ability to use magic, stay afloat, and generally kick ass with golf clubs and umbrellas, belie his character�s appearance. The key to victory is not to let her bring range into the equation. Beware the radishes; they take quite a bite into the damage.
Favorite Move: Mega-Radish Throw

*Chris (Pichu): Good things come in small packages. A surprise candidate in past tournaments, his powerful attacks mixed with occasional button mashing blazed through two rounds before being cut down by more experienced players. With some discipline, Chris and Pichu have the potential to take home some ranks, if not the trophy.
Favorite Move: Lightning Strike

Jeff (Red Link): A newcomer to the tournament, Jeff brings another dimension to the Link trio. Meticulous, thorough, and composed, Jeff�s methodical style exploits the mistakes other players make and capitalizes on them. Only time will tell if his methodical play will carry over to the frenetic single player battles of the tournament.
Favorite Move: ?
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Players, read up. Thomas hit the nail on the head: this tourney's going to be huge.

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Whoa.

So Ale sent me a link and pointed me to the Mazda Rev it Up promotion. Basically, I'm spending next Saturday at Texas Motor Speedway taking performance driving lessons in a Mazda 6.

Talk about one hell of a test drive.

The shindig costs $40 but I'm more than happy to pay that considering most racing schools are close to 4 digits for just a few days' time. And what's better is that everyone's competing on the level ground of a manumatic transmission.

So wait, I pay $40 to get slapped in the cockpit of a 6 and learn to drive it like a crazy motherfucker and I even get to keep my blessed automatic transmission?

This could very well be the best $40 I've ever spent - and the best $24,000 after that.