blakerson.com

I've waited a while to mention it, since some Internet Detective-type users might've followed me as I exited the game site Shacknews. And in case any of them are reading now, I won't say anything about it here, but I've explained what's up to most of the people I talk to regularly.

My time there taught me a lot - namely, that being a professional blogger, specifically a "video game journalist," is just digital blue-collar work. It's not journalism, it's an extension of the cottage industry for video game PR. There's nothing professional, much less glorious, about "informing" the masses of Internet users who strive to be uninformed.

In short, it's not a dream job for the ambitious and it's really turned me off of the 'net in general, and I spend less time online than I did before. I'm more productive, just because my shiny new iGoogle homepage gets me my info much faster so I'm not surfing aimlessly.

So what to do with this newfound time and distaste for YouTube commenters?

Enter grad school.

I was finally convinced to give it a shot after years of hesitation on my part due to a fear that I'd get boxed into some mundane, super-specific kind of study and wind up living out my days being the world's leading expert on Japanese Economic Inflation From 1951 to 1953.

Thankfully, International Relations saves me from that pain, and lets me flex my cerebral muscles based on the skills I picked up in school - foreign languages, writing, people skills, and generally being a flexible kind of guy.

While part of me still mildly fears joining the rat race - as opposed to doing something dramatic and risky, like funding my own video game or TV show or suddenly becoming a musician - I've been convinced that taking the IR route through grad school will let me do real, ambition-satisfying work that I don't dread when I wake up in the morning.

And that dread is a serious issue - I've seen it take a serious toll on my mom over the years, and it instilled in me a deep distrust of work and of bosses.

It's indicative of a larger trend, the whole twenty-something issue with getting over graduating from college and resorting to The Rat Race.

But I think the biggest transition I might face is going from more self-centered to less so. I don't mean in a sense of charity or niceness to others, though I do hope to work on all that. No, I mean that our primary motivations shift from self to others. I suspect that many are forced to confront it at some point - "Oh, you got her knocked up? Time to quit the band and get a job. And a marriage license." Others, on the other hand, might consciously choose the time to make the shift, and perhaps they're better off for it.

My friend Lisa put it this way:

I have lately been thinking that the most important thing for me, rather than trying to be a famous concert pianist (which isn't really my dream anymore anyways), is to have my own loving family and to raise a child. then i would think about my own life. Is that bad?

I definitely don't want to be a famous video game writer anymore. And I'm still ambitious as hell - I'm applying to tough grad schools, and I like Type A women - but I had a taste of a simpler life in Japan, where I was a more generous and easy-to-please person, and it wasn't all bad. There's a lot of that life that may come back to me in several years, and I'm not afraid of that.

It's been a heavy season for video games, so here's the latest batch I've been playing, each with as complex and fulfilling a statement I can get out of two lines of text.

Mirror's Edge
Idiot savant game design. Savant for the revolution in gaming's most basic mechanism (platforms), idiot for combat control so bad it questions mental capacities.

Metal Gear Solid 4
[this line doesn't count: I'm behind the times, but I waited to get back to the US to play the English version.]
Amazing. Poignant, emotional, humorous, difficult, relentlessly hardcore, and an amazing conclusion to the consistently best series in all of gaming.

Quantum of Solace
A true successor to Goldeneye: an ambitious Bond game that forgets current standards for control or narrative in shooting games. A mediocre game, but appreciably so.

LittleBigPlanet
Based on 5 minutes with the beta: more charming than a Pixar movie. Online content creation may be very cool with time, but enjoy the game on the disc with a friend now.

Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2
Exactly what a sequel for Geometry Wars should be. More options, more connectivity, and more colorfulness without changing the core game. Grab it.

Left 4 Dead
A 4-player co-op zombie apocalypse. Play it once, then get hooked on Versus re-playing against your friends, who are the zombies.

Rock Band 2
Remember the first time you tried Guitar Hero, and it was every bit as cool as you thought it would be? It's that feeling all over again.

Street Fighter IV
The gorgeous, deep, hardcore revival that Street Fighter II has always deserved. Fighting games are back, baby.

It's the tenth anniversary of The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time, largely regarded by true gamers as the Greatest Game of All Time.

I'm among that crowd. It's a triumph of creativity, storytelling, passion and can't-put-it-down gameplay. In terms of the grin it plasters on your face, it's the videogame equivalent of Wall-E.

If you haven't played it and you want to, give me a shout because I'll buy it for you. I'm not joking. I will set you up.

In the meantime, enjoy this little bit of my childhood, chopped and screwed by a clever YouTube user. Sheer hilarity.

Happy birthday, Zelda.

[There is a link to this YouTube video, for those reading by RSS]

It's quite the experience to return to Seattle after roughly a decade or more.

I came here several times as a kid, as my dad's best friend from college lived up here. I barely remember the experience of being here, much less knowing what to look for in a city, but strangely enough I had a lot of things feel familiar upon my return.

First thing I noticed - the scent of Seattle is etched in my brain. I didn't even know it was. But whatever gives this city its unique air - I guess it's the pine - is very well known to my nose, much to my surprise.

I'm actually out in Bellevue, the northern suburb on the way to Redmond, but this town is so technological that it's got its own downtown section full of office towers. I'm in the midst of that, but on the way here I got just a taste of the 'industrial' version of Seattle - somehow it's nicer than other cities. Old, but well-preserved.

Holy mooooooly, there are tons of Starbucks here. It's like the Louis Black routine, except in real life and on every block.

I'm in Bellevue to visit Valve, the guys who made Half-Life. I'm previewing their new zombie-themed shooter Left 4 Dead, and it's entirely sweet. Highly recommended. They like to splurge on game journalists, so it's a snazzy hotel with corner suites and room service and all that jazz. I'm just happy the internet access works.

I could make this a post about how I'm 'living the dream' - traveling on company dimes, playing games for a living, etc. But my life isn't really that. It's just writing about games all day. That said, I do love my job and I think that, more than the gaming part of the equation, is reason to be proud. It's a job that fits me perfectly, and I'm happy to have found that and have snagged the job after just one year out of school.

It makes for an awkward conversation on flights sitting next to strangers. The "what do you do?" conversation starts with some blah job that somebody else does and ends in me having this perfectly fitting, awesome job I'm satisfied with. I'm afraid of it being a depressing thing for most people, because I can't relate on the "work sucks" angle.

I just hope it inspires someone. After all, it was my mom's own Office Space-like work situation that made me commit to doing something I enjoyed everyday.

For a post with a name like that, four weeks before the election, you'd think it's political.

But it's not.

It's an invitation for you to join me doing stuff! I'm trying to grow some roots in Dallas, now that I'm living here full-time, and it's got me going in several different directions at once.

First off, I'm taking my running a little more seriously now that I'm back. I've been at it for a year now - I started in Japan because the air was clean and I was really bored. Since I've been back, I decided to invest a little money into my activity and get into Nike+. I got the shoes, the iPod, the chip, the whole deal. And as a gamer, it's a riot to track my stats all the time - you're basically trying to beat your own high score every time you go run, and it's good for you. Here, have a widget with my stuff:

Feel free to berate me or encourage me.

If you're feeling a little more indoorsy, then join me in building stuff! I got into the LittleBigPlanet beta, which is an awesome co-op platformer game for the PlayStation 3 where you can build your own levels. If you're a girl, bug your guy friends or boyfriend - the little character in the game is really cute. If you have a PlayStation 3, add 'blakerson' as your friend and we'll play together.

In other news, I'm thinking on starting a regular 'game night' at my house where people meet up and just play whatever's on tap. If you're in the DFW area and still reading this puppy, let me know. You're invited.

Update: I forgot one! If you'll be playing any PC games this holiday season, be sure to join the group on Steam. Or, if you're not part of my old high-school crew, just add me as your friend.