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I made a very sudden and impromptu decision to visit home for the holidays. Between the loneliness that had been my birthday, the lack of holiday plans, and the fact that I've seen Tokyo (which is where all my Japanese friends were for the holiday break), I "cracked" and took Mom's offer of a flight back to the States for the holiday break.

I spent it getting reacquainted with a number of things, including: cars that don't suck, feeling like my normal self among close friends, and central heating. All very nice and comforting things.

Unfortunately, I spent it getting to know one thing that's always bothered me: sunrise. I've written before about how sunrise was nature's way of telling me "You should have gone to bed before now, but now it's too late," but it almost became a familiar sight as I spent the last week getting destroyed by jetlag.

As such, I spent the more valuable daylight hours getting to know my bed instead of things like Texan winter, my damn-near-estranged friends (who, like myself, are off to careers and aging), and copious amounts of Mexican, BBQ, real pizza, and breakfast tacos (I had each just once).

Still, the friends and food that I had were just enough. I grew to ignore the sun as it staged its intervention at 7:30 each morning, and the isolation that accompanied me at that hour was nothing compared to the rural Japanese isolation I had come from.

It didn't take me long to fall into old habits. Whatever new character traits I had developed in Japan dissolved as I settled back into the older me, which was more comfortable and relaxed, but as good as an altar boy compared to my newer alter ego. I think the relative boredom of rural Japan left me needing excitement badly enough to finally develop a bad side, and it's one I've thoroughly explored and always come back reeking of cigarette smoke.

I've been back in rural Japan for 24 hours, and I've realized that what I feared about a US trip came true - it's made it that much harder to actually live here. Whereas I could be enjoying the life of a good American boy, or the still-inspiring whirlwind Tokyo lifestyle, here I am with my new stock of video games, American candy, and a small bottle of BBQ sauce with no proper BBQ to put it on.

That said, life in big-city Japan looks more tempting with each passing day. Two recent visits to Tokyo just cemented that belief more and more. It truly is my favorite place in the world, so I might as well try as hard as I can to live there.

5 months down, 7 to go. But hey, I got a bunch of frequent flier miles.

I turn 23 in a couple days. And as if the timing were intended, I'm listening to the new Jimmy Eat World album for the first time. It sounds like more of Futures, and that's a good thing - it's made me feel like I'm in college again. (It's also the first time I've so strongly referred to college in the past-tense, and that's on a level so tragic I haven't come to understand it yet.) Following established habit, I had a rough night playing Halo, I'm IMing old friends past bedtime, I drank a few stiff Jack and Cokes, and I'm still on Facebook harassing everyone I can.

Here's what's new with me since I've last been here:
-We're 4 months into my year-long JET contract. 1/3rd done, for better and worse.

-I'm torn every day on where to live for the next while - Japan, or the US? As a country, I think I like Japan more - even in my super-poor town there's not really 'poverty,' and I'm not incredibly jaded with the people, the culture, the pop culture, or the women. I'm bored with being American - but being an American in Japan is incredibly exciting and empowering. Whether or not I can give up this power and sudden allure I have is a really difficult question.

-I'm definitely not staying where I live now. I turned down the option to renew my contract in Kawamoto and I don't feel any regret about it - at least, not yet. I'll likely miss my kids more than I do now, and maybe I'll miss others as well, but as of right now I won't have *too* many problems getting the hell out of this town.

-I've noticed that my Japanese life contains a noticeable lack of humor - I haven't laughed my ass off since summer. The closest I've come is the excellence that is Season 2 of The Boondocks. This, above all else, makes me miss my college-age friends and roommates.

-I just might write a book! My supervisors from my video game thesis highly recommended I seek publication, and because I'm an idiot it took me a full 6 months to realize my cousin has worked in the book-writing business. So I'm getting her advice and getting my stuff together to write a book about video games and start looking for an agent and a publisher.

-At the same time, I'm going to apply to Google Japan for a bilingual copy writer position. For most people living in Japan, Tokyo quickly loses its charm. Hasn't happened for me. I honestly think of the place as one of the happiest places on earth.

-I worry about my mom's state of mind entirely too often.

-I also miss the "special" people - the ones that give me a small buzz just by having a tiny "long time, no see, I miss you" conversation with them. So hello to Vicki, Sayaka, Monica, everyone from a-town, and above all my college roomies. I miss all of you guys way too much.

-I occasionally smoke, but I'm mindful not to really pick it up, as a) I don't want to have to quit and b) I have a niece! As of this writing, I think she's 3 days old if I'm counting the time lag right. Her name's Karoline and she's still in the "ugly baby" phase, but I'm excited to meet her upon my return to the States.

-Whether temporary or permanent, I'll be making that US trip in August of next year.

-Amazing still it seems - I'll be 23.

We've hit a high point in gaming. Within two weeks of each other, Halo 3 and The Orange Box (which itself is a bundle of 3 very highly anticipated games) both made it to market after years of anticipation.

On top of that, I'm finally an Xbox 360 owner, which means my time is *also* being split on the Xbox Live Arcade greats - Geometry Wars, Catan, Pac-Man CE, and Lumines.

We haven't had a time like this for gaming in several years. It's the kind of thing that comes around once in a blue moon, and it's a great opportunity for long-estranged gaming buddies to suddenly reunite. Just yesterday, I played a round of Halo 3 with an old UT friend who I hadn't been in contact with since I was a Halo 2 player in my second year of college.

I spent my weekend like this, engaged in what gamers call anything from "the zone" to "the gamer's haze" to "ubergaming." And on Monday at lunch, I went and crossed a big, big barrier:

I officially became old.

It's a sensation that hits many college grads - the going to bed early, the lack of energy as the ennui of work sets in, the falling out of love with clubbing, the sudden eagerness to watch Grey's Anatomy as a form of bonding with the opposite sex. But there's one sign that beats all of those that you're officially old:

You get an injury when playing with your students.

When playing "indoor baseball" with my kids, I hit the ball with the very end of my fist instead of the center. This bent back my wrist so hard I thought it was broken for a split-second. It's actually just sprained and threw my carpals way out of whack, but it hurts like hell and it'll impact my ability to use the computer (and maybe play games) for a long time to come.

I had a therapeutic four days of shopping (clothes and games, and I now own Halo 3 at long last) and hanging with my JA friends in Tokyo in dive bars and some of Tokyo's best and worst clubs.

Even though I still had a hangover as I slept last night, I feel refreshed today back at school.

Every time October rolls around, I can't resist the urge to make a post expressing my love for the tragically short-lived season that is fall. It's colorful, the weather's awesome, and it's an exciting time of year what with everyone prepping for the holidays all the time. It's the one time of year I'm honestly compelled to go outside more than usual.

This time, it's a bit different. It hasn't quite started yet, but you can already see the mountains of green surrounding me teasing these ridiculous shades of yellow, orange, and red. These green walls are annoying, because they're solid green and they block out the sun. I never see the sunset due to the mountains. But if those walls were to suddenly turn to awesome colorful scenery?

I think I could live with that.