The King (of car-related TV) is Dead. (Almost.) Long live the King!

People who know me well know of my great affection for The World's Most Popular TV Show, better known as the lovably geeky joint Top Gear. It's three dudes - wait, this on is the BBC, I should say blokes - who know and love their cars, and proceed to make a hilarious show where they occasionally review a car on its merits and more often do something wacky, like try to build their own electric car or race a supercar against the Eurostar from London to the French Riviera.

The show in its current incarnation [its name is a throwback to a more tepid show from the 80s] started in the early 00s, and I remember getting hooked in an early season along with my college roommate. We watched religiously for the rest of our college careers and beyond as the show grew and grew in fame, audience and budget.

Recently, however, it's beginning to jump the shark. Less car reviews, more crazy stunts. And the villagers are unhappy. 

The show's producer admits as much on TG's own blog, in a long entry full of conciliatory points:

You’re watching a show that’s lost its innocence. To explain, let’s go back a bit. When we started in 2002, our goal was to make a decent Top Gear, but then, and most important, organically, things took us by surprise. Nobody knew the onscreen chemistry of the trio would be so good, also, none of us saw coming where we could actually go with the films.
...
It’s fair to say this incarnation of Top Gear is nearer the end than the beginning, and our job is to land this plane with its dignity still intact.

The car blogs and fan sites of the world take that last line to mean that the sky is falling. But Internet Conspiracy Theorists had also suspected that the previous season would be the last on account of its died-and-gone-to-heaven finale:


What's fair to say is that a show "nearer the end than the beginning" in Season 14 will be done sometime before Season 27. But it's accurate to say that the show is on a downhill slope. There will still be fantastic moments, as the producer himself pointed out in his blog post, but this dog is getting old. I foresee this decade's Top Gear coming to a close before Season 18. 

All good things must come to an end, and it is a just world that has bestowed upon the car faithful a whopping seven-plus years of the Best Show Ever. 

Car fans can also take solace that there's an heir apparent: Jay Leno.

It shouldn't be a surprise, considering the guy retired from The Tonight Show to "spend more time with [his] cars." But what is surprising is just how much content he's cranking out as a car guy. He's got a weekly Web show, Jay Leno's Garage, where he gets some hands-on time with new (and prototype!) cars. His new talk show has a guest lap leaderboard segment, gloriously ripped from those three blokes in the UK. And he's just made an homage to C'était un Rendezvous on the streets of LA

It's not big-budget or even British. But Leno's got a lot going for him as the next emperor of car-related entertainment. He appeals to the masses, which can only be said for half of Britain in the case of current king Jeremy Clarkson. He's green, which we need from our automotive role models. And his blue-collar, let's-make-this-in-the-garage attitude is at once decidedly low-budget (which makes it a good fit for the Web content that it is) and quintessentially American. He's a great counter-balance to seven years of Clarkson's Thatcher-esque take on things. 

NBC looked into making an American Top Gear some years back. Leno likely would have hosted - and he'd have been clamoring for the job, no doubt - but the bean counters shot it down. In response, Leno's been making car content anyway, and he's done it on his own terms. In America, we don't have kings. But if we did, we'd like them to have that quality.

Let's improve Monopoly

Monopoly, the board game, was invented in 1935. It's a game about economics, first and foremost. Hell, the name of the game is Monopoly. It's about making wise investments and bilking your opponents for cash in that most honorable of capitalist quests. 

In the same sense that modern games are escapism, Monopoly must have been a capitalist fantasy escape for the world of the time. In 1935, Keynes was putting the finishing touches on his masterpiece, the book that set out what we now call Keynesian economics. (Remember all that stuff from high school about the business cycle and the government intervening in recession with public works spending to reinvigorate the economy? Yeah, we're talking about when he published that.)

The crash of 2008 showed us that the world of economics has changed. Why hasn't Monopoly?

Monopoly needs mortgage securitzation. And loan sharks. And since you can have loans, you can also have credit-default swaps.

It's sooo 1930s to simply "go out of business" - that is, lose at Monopoly - from being pushed out by competition and simple market forces. It's almost 2010, ladies and gentlemen! An honorable Monopoly winner actually saves his friend as he's about to lose by offering him mortgages on all his houses and hotels, creating a new 'deed' for the collection of those mortgages, and letting friends buy in for a share of all the revenue from the houses and hotels that people land on. Then, your friends see you're in a compromised position and take out bets on you going bust. 

Not that people really want to keep an unsustainable game of Monopoly afloat at the 3-hour mark, but it'll be worth it for the payoff. Stay with me, trooper.

So now everyone has a stake in everyone else. Loser #1 is doing OK - he's given up any chance of making any money off his houses and hotels, but he's alive. You were peachy by taking advantage of Loser #1, but now you're starting to sink since your other two buddies invested in your securitized mortgages of all the Loser's houses and hotels and are reaping all the returns. But one of those two buddies *really* wants to see you lose, because then he'll cash out on the credit default swap he took out with the second of the two buddies. Buddy #2, meanwhile, does *not* want to see you lose because he'll have to pay out, which means he'll lose too.

But wait - Buddy #2 has a secret weapon! He took out a credit default swap of his own, financed by Buddy #1, on Loser #1 going bust.

Eventually, someone misses a payment somewhere - probably Loser #1 missing a mortgage payment - and he goes belly-up. Buddy #2 cashes in with money from Buddy #1. That sends #1 into bankruptcy. Now you go bust, because you can't afford your securitized payments to everyone else. Buddy #1 would cash in on his credit default swap with Buddy #2.. except he's already bust. Whoops.

Everyone loses in spectacular fashion. Rather than get mad after 3-and-a-half hours, yell at Grandma and swear never to play Monopoly again, you've all gone down in flames, and your board game session has turned from a get-rich-quick fantasy to a reminder of how connected we all are, thanks to money.

It's a brave new world out there, friends. Your board games should be ready. Just don't let Grandma be the loan shark - she will get medieval on your kneecaps if she really has to.

I go to gaming school

It's remarkable how much career-oriented progress I'm making after just a couple of days of real-deal school. I needed an answer to the extremely frequent question "what's your career goal?" and the answer of "video games" just became habit. 

Everything else is just falling into line. I'm exploring game-related work for next summer and letting it shape the work I'm doing here, from research to topics for Japanese assignments.

I was so busy doing all that that I missed the real-world culmination of what I wanna do: the Tokyo Game Show, or Japan's E3. I went back and caught up on the news this morning, and I have a few observations:

-Final Fantasy 13 will be fantastic, following the theory that every FF game on a new platform is a classic: 4, 7, 10. Wow. If you just keep counting by 3s, you get the original Final Fantasy (unarguably a classic, look what it spawned) and, of course, 13. Maybe we should update the theory.

-Hideo Kojima is Japan's best export. Metal Gear Solid Peace Walker will be fantastic. See for yourself:

-Microsoft Natal came to Japan! People are playing Katamari Damacy with it, by kinda doing this retarded swimming motion, and now I understand the skeptics. Buuuuuuut...

-Natal could have some really broad implications. MS had another fantastic showing in Tokyo this year, and they had a panel where a trio of famous Japanese designers just started tossing around ideas for what you could do with the technology. Kojima was on the panel, and while he of course stated that he has some fantastic ideas for games that recognize your appearance and interact with you that way, his thoughts on the device itself were more telling: Medical imaging, or security cameras, could benefit from the tech.

That's huge. Suppose the technology works well enough to identify you from a relative distance away, say 15 feet. Tie that into the cloud, or Facebook, and you've instantly established a working surveillance society.

In short, TGS has had some really fantastic timing in terms of my life here. Professors, who I'm meeting for the first time, ask what I want to do, and now I can point a finger to this show and say "this." By which I mean "games industry + business development + exciting new technologies + big companies like MS + Japan." They may not get it themselves, but the important thing is that I'm able to answer the question.

Touch-screen DJing!

I want to do this so bad. Peep the write-up at Engadget, but long story short the latest gimmick-cool use of Microsoft Surface is to do basic DJ work.

By dragging loop icons into a central circle, that starts them playing and they'll go until you drag the icon back out. Other icons, once inside the circle, can be tapped for a one-off sound.

I've always been too lazy to learn proper DJing, and too frugal to go pick up the newfangled CDJ systems that electronically simulate turntables, but a user-friendly approach like this would be a hell of a lot of fun to play with. You could even sell more sounds in a digital market, kinda like Rock Band does.

C'mon Microsoft, do it!