Wow. I've really had to call the purpose of my life into question recently. First, I had a conversation not too long ago with my amiga Meghan, and she asked me what I want out of life. My answer?
-A job that's fun on a daily basis
-A wife who's intelligent, gorgeous, and ambitious
-An M3
And as the words came out of my mouth, I realized that it was the weakest, most materialistic answer that anyone could have possibly given. What about challenge? What about adventure? I had answered as if I, out of anyone, could be satisfied with simply living in comfort.
Then I got really done in after seeing Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for the second time (thank God I at least managed to get it the second time around). It was amazing to see a movie that convincingly transcends the chronological progression of time - that is, it fluidly jumps around time as if it weren't this straight line we always think it to be. It made me look at my own life in the same way: I'm always thinking about two things: now, and my future. Chalk it up to pragmatism, I suppose. But what will happen if the timeline of my life starts twisting and turning like the kind of twisty roads that all of us drivers look forward to? I think I might wind up disappointed.
It's time for more challenge, for more adventure. My life is only now beginning to tick, tick, tick away. And I haven't even hit 20 years old. How strongly will I feel that sensation right before I'm 30? 40? 50? High school, for the lameness it was, had some truly memorable experiences: Carnegie Hall, giant parties with the whole Lamar crew, more than a few amazing LANs. Enough nostalgia to last a man a decade. What can I say for college? One night out, the first trip to 6th St. with the jig dancing and the sprinklers at the Capitol building, performing on stage of Bass Hall, a small handful of things that happened with Michelle? I'm almost through with the first year of college and I've barely got anything to show for myself in terms of the amazing, bold, adventurous experiences that all the old people say go hand-in-hand with college. I've got to get out and start finding this stuff.
Part of me wants to blame the bunch of friends I've got here. They're amazing, adorable, funny people, but there comes a time when you've got to stop Friday Night Halo and go
do something. Go see something. Let the night carry you somewhere you never thought possible. Granted, the fault doesn't rest with them 100% - far from it. I could be doing a lot more to go find things to do, maybe even seeking out the people to do those things with. But, dear friends, learn from my mistake and don't let comfort dictate your life, whether it's right now or your future. Because it's in the uncomfortable things, I'm learning, that you ultimately take the greatest memories.
