blakerson.com

warning: politics


Please.. this state is obviously retarded and desperately needs help. Click it.

So I've been a centrist all my life. And that last post was one of the few times where I forgot there is a middle path. Wow, I'd suck at being a part of any Eastern religion. Once again, there's the option of being a writer and still having a fun job that involves some work. Example: editor, Car and Driver.

Throughout my life I've had the feeling that I wouldn't get the extreme best thing but I'd be happy with where I wound up anyway. So far, it's held true. I don't see any reason why that'll stop - but before I settle I think I have to make one desperate run at the top and see how far I can get up the hill in the process.

I've hit the point in my college career where my entire life comes into question and I have to begin to decide what to do with the rest of it. After getting down here, getting quasi-settled and not being involved in music, it's come to me that music has become a much bigger deal to me than I ever expected. It's an addiction: I need the endorphines of performance and the stress relief that comes with doing some song I really believe in.

It's not that I'm going after the cliched "fame and fortune." My choice, right now, is fame or fortune. If I stick to my academics, keep working hard, and go to law school, I can walk out with enough money to be driving an M3 before I'm 30. Or at least a nicely done 330Ci when I'm done with school. But fame - that comes with being the musician. Being appreciated and all that fun stuff. John Mayer's ridiculous success has made it possible for zillions more heartfelt guys like him (Jack Johnson, Howie Day, the list continues) with a song to sing hit the big time. And maybe it'll be out of style, but maybe, just maybe, there'll be room for one guy with a piano and a guitar and a song to sing. Just go on stage, say what you want, be liked for it, and the big bad record companies won't balk at you for saying and singing what you feel. I wouldn't mind that.

Either way, it's all or nothing, that's just my quasi-competitive nature. But being a high achiever gets in the way of being a musician, and vice-versa. And it's not like I have to make the decision overnight, but still - I probably need some kind of direction in the next few years. And eventually I'll have to make a choice, one way or the other. It's surprisingly not a scary thought, but I know I'm not ready yet to make the call.

OH! I totally forgot to mention that I got a fortune cookie when I was very little. It said "Your love for music will take you very far in life." I was about ten, I think, so I was in music class but that was about it. So far, it's served me well.

So the Friends list over on the right bar there is a curious thing. It only links to 9 people, but I definitely have more than 9 friends. I've never explained until now that the Friends list also has my seal of approval. Boring blogs are a dime a dozen, but those 9 sites are ones that I deem worthy for people who read this one and know who I am / what I'm about / etc.

I guess it comes down to understanding the sort of intangible that drives all of us ("us" being the SSB thugs and friends). And when that essence clicks for you, it's obvious you've been assimilated into the group.

So Aroon linked to this seemingly random post by Emma from a few days back. And honestly, I might not have caught it had it not been for Aroon's posting the entire thing back on his site. And after reading it, I was completely floored. I want to describe the post as "the world of SSB through the eyes of Trainspotting" but that doesn't do it justice. And the kicker was perfect - unexpected, made me crack up. So now you'll notice that Emma's been linked over on that sidebar.

I'm definitely not the first one to say it, but hey, Emma - welcome to the fold.

Much good gaming, folks. Even though some of us had crippled CS, it wasn't enough to stop us from some quality 4v4 action on Aztec, and some action in smaller numbers on Dust2. So here's the rundown on the next CS night:

-Date: don't know. I'm thinking every other Thursday night sounds like a winner, same time and place.
-My server: Some lag, but it was from running a listen. This may be fixed in the future.
-Version: we've got to step up to 1.6, fellas. 1.5's got too many bugs going on for too many people. Click here to grab it from the BitTorrent network, if you have that. Otherwise, try Steam's site to grab it from a more familiar site. 1.6 means easier server administration, easier connection, and better integrated voice. note: 1.6 is out of beta. If you played the Steam/1.6 beta, you have to download this whole new installer and kill off the old beta. Auto-update won't work when upgrading from beta. Your account, however, will still work, but you'll have to enter your HL/CS cdkey to bind it to your Steam account. From then on, you'll be able to access HL/CS from any computer where you log in to Steam.

So! Go get your new CS on, tinker with it a little (the bots are bad ass, I promise) and get ready for more action soon.