blakerson.com

164.

Not amazing. But still top 10 percent.

Oh, and about my schools:

Stanford/Harvard/Berkeley/Columbia

Notice the lack of 'Texas' in that list. It was my safety school. But I looked at the course schedule and discovered that I would truly never go there, so I dropped it.

A bit ambitious, yes, but that's why I wrote a completely ridiculous, awesome, slightly hilarious essay.

Sorry bout that.

This last month has had moments among the busiest in my life. I thought things would ease up after the LSAT.

I was wrong.

Once the test was done, it was time to buckle down. Law school applications. JET application. I brought together the Texas Gaming Association and threw a Guitar Hero tournament. The JA Fall Festival, which has shown just how dysfunctional my Japanese family truly is. My Japanese major is all but lost, thanks to a bureaucratic fuckup that will leave me 3 hours short of the major. I lost plenty of sleep over all this stuff, and came damn close to burning out over all of it.

Thankfully, virtually all of that stuff is done with. When the last law school app went off, there was a huge, irremovable grin on my face for the rest of the day. I felt the weight off my shoulders. Now I just sit and wait for several, several months.

So what's got me so busy now? Girl aside, I'm back to gaming. I'm going through as many Gamefly games as possible before the Wii arrives. Not that I have the money for a Wii, mind you, but after 3.5 years of perfect fiscal responsibility in college, I deserve to put something on that credit card of mine. A Wii it is, then.

Oh, and I just really want to have a party and call it "Get drunk and Wii all over Blake's couch."

Last Monday was the night dedicated to the required monthly Plan II Thesis meeting. It's a new thing they're doing to engender a sense of community among people working on it. It's a pretty cool idea, because all of us have had classes together over the last 3 years and made good friends who we suddenly see in classes no more, because by senior year we're all done with P2 and we're panicking and finishing our majors.

And it's a funny experience. It's the same old "It's great to see you!" conversation, and it's the one that ends in "Hey, let's all get together!" and nothing ever gets scheduled. But it's not because we all think it's awkward or don't like each other. It's more like it's because we all know on the inside that trying to schedule together all of us would be harder than writing the whole damn thesis overnight.

We're all seniors now. Once again, we've conveniently forgotten the reality of senior year - it goes by in a blur of work and caffeine and society, where the fun stuff ceases to be fun yet the work ceases to be a pain in the ass. And the result is visible: all of us have long hair.

I showed up with my scraggly-ass beard and my decently long hair - probably the longest it's been since I tried to grow it out back when I was 15. So did Marc. And others. I just haven't had the time to make it home to get my hair cut. Now that the hair's already this out of control, I may just keep it up.

And now it's just before 2am on a Saturday night. A year ago I'd have felt awful for coming home so early, before the parties were really over. Now, I feel OK. I'm comfortable. I've got the Aphex Twin going in one ear and out the other, I'm blogging, and thinking about how I should be getting my act together for a ton more application essays.

Senior years don't ever change - we just forget them.

Or so sang Everclear, playing on shuffle on my computer when I read that the North Koreans have pulled off the nuclear test.

Welcome, friends, to the Second Cold War. Let's hope humanity survives this one too.

It's most likely the only time I'll ever take it. One morning down, and my future is largely decided.

I find out my score in 3 weeks.

I have no idea how I did on the test. I probably did decently and it'd be an odd twist of fate if I did really really well or really really badly.

I really feel like I have to readjust to life without it the test hanging over my head. I'm sure with time I'll feel relieved that it's over, but right now it's kind of hard to let go of the stress and the tension. It's kinda like Stockholm Syndrome, but with a test, and I was only figuratively a hostage.

My brain is still in test mode, my social skills are still awkward, and I'll probably stay this way for a couple more days while the ridiculous amount of caffeine I've ingested works its way out of my system. If I can feel anything right now, it's relief that I'll get back to a normal sleep schedule.

Oh, and one more thing: I've gotten a huge, huge outpour of support and love from friends and family all over the world, including some truly thoughtful messages from people who normally don't do that kind of thing, like my mom's boyfriend. To everyone who ever said so much as a "good luck" - thanks. I had you guys in mind when I stepped out the door this morning, ready to take on one of my life's most pivotal days.