Not Papahoupoulis Greek. More like Sigma Tau Delta Greek. Not only is Rush week bringing them out in droves and annoying me like hell, but they don't even bother to look you in the eye, smile, or say hi when they walk by, because
you're obviously not of the Drunka Felta Thi calibur.
That, and they almost killed me.
I was walking Anna home a while ago to her new place in Kinsolving, when a gaggle of drunken frat boys in their F-series pickup stormed straight at us, where we stood on the sidewalk as the Drag takes a slight curve. It came, and came, and came, and reflexively I grabbed Anna by the arm and pulled her to me. Nevermind that we haven't been together 6 months and weren't getting back together tonight. At the very last second, the truck made the turn and it was at a high enough speed to max out its cornering ability. And as that happened, the scrub hangin' out the passenger side had the audacity to holla at Anna - with her arm in my hand. Nevermind the fact that we haven't been together six months; they don't know that. I'm losing sleep over not only how I almost died, but more about how I saw it coming and didn't grab her and start dashing a second and a half earlier, had the truck not made its turn. If not for that good luck, I would have been killed by a drunk driver tonight, and so would she.
I officially don't care anymore about making a brash, sweeping generalization of a group of people so large and diverse as the Greek population at UT. Except - wait - you're not large, or diverse. You make up roughly 5% of the UT population, and you're all white-washed with the rare exception of the groups specifically created to cater to a specific race, or a 'multi-cultural' group to cater to the groups still left out. Service organization? Music organization? Don't care. You still:
-Pay dues
-Do community service
-Form small cliques and only date within yourselves as if it's
Friends in real life
-Have the only elitist, invite-only parties in town, which - ha ha, found you out, suckers - completely suck. (The only excuse to have an invite-only party MUST involve a Ferrari in some capacity. Those are the rules, fuckers.)
-Throw fantastic events all involving the words "Mixer," "Date Dash," "Formal," "Casual," all of which translate (like the Eskimo language's 11 words for 'snow') to "Junior High Dance All Over Again - With Alcohol!"
-Develop drinking problems among disproportionate amounts of your membership
-Have initiations
Comments aside about having bought your friends, dear Greeks, almost being killed by one of yours is the absolute last straw. I feel no shame in lumping you in - now matter *how* special or how *not* like your sorority you are - with my almost-killers. You are all the same, you're a cult, and if you actually fancied yourself a true exception to the rule, you'd drop it in a heartbeat. If you're a member of a fraternity or sorority, I offer you one parting piece of advice. Take these seeds, these ones I'm offering you right here and now, and go grow your own fucking personality. Until then,
fuck off.
